Natasha Montgomery | Counseling I Christian Counseling Associates | M.B.S. Whole Health I Plano, TX I McKinney, TX | Grapevine, TX
Envy is defined as a desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to someone else. With the wide spread use of social media, we are constantly watching the best version of others via photos or videos as we scroll through our time lines. We see the most luxurious trips our friends are going on, food they are eating, stores they are shopping at, relationships they have, and how many ‘likes’ they receive on each and every post. As an outsider looking in, this person’s life looks darn near perfect. We tend to see the perfect picture of others and then look at our reality and ask, “why can’t my life be more like that?” “why does she get everything?” “how did he deserve that job?” “what is wrong with me?”
I’d like to ask you a question, when was the last time you were willing to put your worst on camera for the world to see? When was the last time you decided to pose for a picture when you didn’t have it all together? For most of us the answer is never. We have to cut ourselves some slack and take what we see for what it is. We have been trained to only show our best, so it is no wonder that we are only exposed to the good our friends on social media are experiencing. When we constantly compare our reality to the “reality” that others allow us to see we will continue to feel less than.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”, this means as long as you are looking at someone else’s plate longing for what they have you will never be satisfied with what is in front of you. There is a saying “never compare someone’s middle to your beginning”. When you look at someone else and envy their success without truly taking the time to understand what it took to get them there, you are feeding yourself a false reality or an illusion. Each and every one of us has our own journey to walk, which comes with its own share of struggles, trials, and successes. We do harm to ourselves when we allow comparison and envy to take away our self-satisfaction.
If you find that you are struggling with comparing yourself to others, I suggest that you ask yourself this question “Do I really accept myself for who I am?” and here’s the kicker- you have to answer that question honestly. Self-acceptance comes from embracing who you are wholeheartedly. When you accept yourself flaws and all, you will be able to see others from a more realistic point of view. With true self-acceptance, the envy you felt toward others will become a genuine joy for their accomplishments. You will be able to utilize the success of others as a motivating factor; instead of wanting what they have you can begin to achieve your goals as well.
But how do you get from a place of comparison to self-acceptance? The journey begins with you. If you are willing to take an honest look at yourself and learn to appreciate what makes you unique this is where the process begins. The journey to self-acceptance does not have to be taken alone, reach out to someone you trust to walk with you.
Looking for someone to walk with you on this path toward self-acceptance? Take the next step and click the “contact” link to schedule a consultation with me and we can start this journey together.